Daily journal: facial feminization surgery

seeing medical professionals who aren't specialists in gender affirming care

I see my family doctor tomorrow. She is nice, we have had good appointments before about mental health. It isn’t even an appointment to talk with her about any immediate health concerns I need her to manage. And after this appointment, it is on to the feminization surgery consultation…hoorah.

But I am terrified too. What I need tomorrow is a referral to the gender clinic I already have my appointment at. I need a referral to a new endocrinologist too. The clinic has already accepted me, but they need that sign off.

It is so overwhelming needing to speak up for yourself when it is a medical professional you are up against. Without a doubt I know what is best for me, without question I know that referral will be life changing. There is no doubt that without finding a new endocrinologist and getting the care of a surgeon for gender affirming surgeries I will fall into much worse mental and physical health.

And yet, she can withhold it.

I am not alone in this feeling of being unheard or in having a fear of having care withheld. There is so much power in a doctor, we are at their will to have a barely legible signature added to a piece of paper and faxed to another person for the care we so desperately know we need, or not.

“I need a referral for my facial feminization surgery consultation please. And my hormone meds doctor has helped me access care until the end of 2024 but could you please help with a referral for a doctor who can help with that by the end of 2024 as well please?”

“Of course Emme, let us take care of that. Leave the fax number of the clinic and we will send it right over.”

The dream.

Tomorrow we shall see.