boudoir and the trans body

capturing the times I love this body

It may or may not surprise you to learn I have done boudoir sessions before. Back in the day when I had much shorter hair on my head and longer hair on my face. These sessions were called dudeoir sessions because they were intended for dudes, and, well, boudoir is just too intimate for a guy isn't it? (It is not, guys, go do a boudoir and enjoy it under that name).

Now, a year plus into medical transition, I want to do it again. I already loved the feeling that boudoir photography gave me because it was incredibly freeing to pose and work on loving a body I struggled with. Now that I'm in a place where my body is reflecting the me I've envisioned, I want to do that even more.

Showing my body love and celebrating my body for all the changes it has carried me through just feels right.

And absolutely yes, I want to show it off all over the place too.

It isn’t always this way. Moments of love for my body come and go and I try and snatch at them as they show up because they remind me how gentle I can be with myself, how I can appreciate the softness of my own body for myself, and how damn sexy I am as a transfeminine person.

Trans people deserve these moments in huge handfulls. They deserve to bathe in moments when they see how beautiful their bodies are even as we have a world around us that debates our existence, threatens our safety, and fetishizes us while hating us publicly.

Transmasculine bodies, transfeminine bodies, non-binary bodies, all of these are beautiful in all stages of our lives and it takes a lot of mental energy to manage through days when you can’t always remember the good moments.

Boudoir photographers—-definitely the very good ones—-can bring these moments out in you during a session even when you are feeling shy and withdrawn and nervous. They are gentle and consent-driven and work with you to feel all of the pieces you want to show.

I think I have talked about accessibility in a few posts before. Certainly about mental health and how hard it is to get mental heath services and continually afford them. Then I think I wrote about electrolysis or hair removal and how it is also expensive. And hormone replacement therapy can be too if you don’t have access to a healthcare plan.

Right? So things cost a lot. And guess what? Boudoir does too. It is, for reasons I very, very much understand, not the most accessible for a lot of trans people. These photographers are really good. And if you’re a trans person I suggest looking for the really good ones who are queer and will be able to help you feel more comfortable. At least that’s what I want to do with mine.

But hey, we aren’t all there right now and although we aren’t we all deserve some body love and I’m thinking up a few ways to get spicy for yourself.

Take pictures of yourself with your phone

This is one of the most accessible ways to just gift yourself the perfect present of looking hot as hell. If you have a tripod (even like a $30 one), that’s a bonus because you can take way more pictures in different poses without holding the phone yourself, but look, even selfies are going to be fire. I just use Google photos for editing and argue with Hannah about whether one should use warmth or cool when editing. The good news? You do what you like (warmth obviously ;)!

You can also set your phone on video mode and hit a bunch of poses that feel good for you. Take as long as you need and do as many as your body wants, and then go through the video and grab some stills that feel really good for you!

Ask partners to gift you this treat

Even if this is saved up over years, two dollars at a time, this is a beautiful thought and so valued. Think of poses together. Look at photographers together. Talk about the parts of your body you can’t wait to see in pictures together. Pick out things you’d like to wear during it together.

You don’t need any to be gorgeous and hot

If boudoir or pictures in lingerie or underwear isn’t your thing, you don’t need to do it. Look through pictures where you felt really happy no matter where you were, what you were doing, or what you were wearing. If you felt good and happy in this moment, look back on it, this is as beautiful as any boudoir moment.